Einu sinni var takmarki\u00f0, a\u00f0 konur nytu jafnr\u00e9ttis \u00e1 vi\u00f0 karlmenn. Konur st\u00f3\u00f0u saman \u00fevert \u00e1 st\u00e9tt og st\u00f6\u00f0u. Og s\u00fa bar\u00e1tta bar \u00e1rangur. N\u00fa er svo komi\u00f0, a\u00f0 konur eru \u00ed meirihluta \u00feeirra, sem stunda framhaldsn\u00e1m, h\u00e1sk\u00f3lan\u00e1m, s\u00e9rh\u00e6ft n\u00e1m. \u00deessum konum standa allar dyr opnar. \u00de\u00e6r eru fyrirvinnur alveg til jafns vi\u00f0 eiginmenn s\u00edna. \u00deetta \u00e1 vi\u00f0 um landi\u00f0 okkar alveg eins og annars sta\u00f0ar me\u00f0al \u00fer\u00f3a\u00f0ra \u00fej\u00f3\u00f0a.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n
En Alison bendir \u00e1, a\u00f0 n\u00fa er ekki lengur til umr\u00e6\u00f0u samsta\u00f0a kvenna \u00fevert \u00e1 st\u00e9tt og st\u00f6\u00f0u, heldur str\u00ed\u00f0 milli kvenna, st\u00e9ttastr\u00ed\u00f0 (\u201eclass war\u201c). Konur standa ekki me\u00f0 konum (muni\u00f0 \u00fei\u00f0 kj\u00f6ror\u00f0i\u00f0: Konur eru l\u00edka menn?), heldur skiptast \u00fe\u00e6r \u00ed h\u00f3pa, sem eiga ekki samlei\u00f0, heldur fara hver s\u00edna lei\u00f0. \u00dea\u00f0 er hin n\u00fdja st\u00e9ttaskipting.<\/p>\n
\u00deessi skipting ver\u00f0ur strax auglj\u00f3s \u00e1 unglings\u00e1runum. Me\u00f0 tilkomu pillunnar fengu konur frelsi, sem \u00e1\u00f0ur var \u00f3\u00feekkt \u2013 \u00fe\u00e6r g\u00e1tu stunda\u00f0 kynl\u00edf, \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 eiga \u00e1 h\u00e6ttu a\u00f0 ver\u00f0a barnshafandi. \u00deetta var bylting \u00ed l\u00edfi kvenna.<\/p>\n
Meiri hluti stelpna, ein af hverjum \u00feremur (\u00ed Bretlandi t.d.), byrja a\u00f0 stunda kynl\u00edf undir l\u00f6galdri. Margar lenda \u00ed f\u00f3sturey\u00f0ingu, detta \u00fat \u00far sk\u00f3la, giftast ungar, sogast inn \u00ed f\u00e1t\u00e6ktargildru og lokast inni \u00ed undirst\u00e9tt, sem \u00e1 s\u00e9r enga framt\u00ed\u00f0. \u00deetta \u00feekkjum vi\u00f0 allt \u00far okkar n\u00e1nasta umhverfi.<\/p>\n
Minnihluti kvenna \u2013 um \u00fea\u00f0 bil ein af hverjum fimm \u2013 hafnar kynl\u00edfi \u00e1 unglings\u00e1rum. \u00deessar stelpur stunda n\u00e1m af fullri alv\u00f6ru gegnum framhaldssk\u00f3la, h\u00e1sk\u00f3la og s\u00e9rh\u00e6fingu. \u00deetta eru svokalla\u00f0ur Alfakonur (vi\u00f0 k\u00f6nnumst vi\u00f0 Alfamenn, ekki satt?). \u00deetta er hin n\u00fdja yfirst\u00e9tt \u00far r\u00f6\u00f0um kvenna. \u00de\u00e6r geta vali\u00f0 \u00far st\u00f6rfum. \u00de\u00e6r f\u00e1 h\u00e1 laun. \u00de\u00e6r taka vi\u00f0 stj\u00f3rnunarst\u00f6rfum vi\u00f0 hli\u00f0 karla. Alfakonur me\u00f0 Alfam\u00f6nnum!<\/p>\n
\u00dea\u00f0 eru \u00feessar konur sem \u00ed valdi menntunar eru a\u00f0 ry\u00f0jast inn \u00ed stj\u00f3rnunarst\u00f6rfin vi\u00f0 hli\u00f0 karlanna. L\u00edtum okkur n\u00e6r. \u00de\u00e6r eignast maka me\u00f0 svipa\u00f0an bakgrunn. \u00deetta er h\u00e1tekjuli\u00f0 framt\u00ed\u00f0arinnar, el\u00edtan. N\u00fa til dags \u00fearf tv\u00e6r fyrirvinnur til a\u00f0 sj\u00e1 fyrir heimili og fj\u00f6lskyldu. \u00dea\u00f0 er leikur einn fyrir \u00feessar konur.<\/p>\n
Undirst\u00e9ttin, \u00fe\u00e6r sem byrju\u00f0u snemma a\u00f0 stunda kynl\u00edf, duttu \u00fat \u00far sk\u00f3la, giftust ungar og lentu \u00ed f\u00e1t\u00e6ktargildru, eru \u00ed \u00feeirri st\u00f6\u00f0u a\u00f0 ver\u00f0a a\u00f0 \u00feiggja \u00feau l\u00e1glaunast\u00f6rf, sem bj\u00f3\u00f0ast hverju sinni. Hugsanlega taka \u00fe\u00e6r a\u00f0 s\u00e9r a\u00f0 g\u00e6ta barna Alfakvenna, sem \u00ed krafti menntunar sitja \u00ed h\u00e1launast\u00f6rfum og hafa efni \u00e1 a\u00f0 grei\u00f0a fyrir g\u00e6slu.<\/p>\n
\u00dea\u00f0 m\u00e1 au\u00f0vita\u00f0 sn\u00faa \u00feessu \u00fat \u00e1 versta veg og segja, a\u00f0 \u00feetta s\u00e9 bara snobb. \u00dea\u00f0 \u00feurfi ekki allir a\u00f0 fara h\u00e1sk\u00f3labrautina. F\u00f3lk er jafngott fyrir \u00fev\u00ed. Allt er \u00fea\u00f0 satt og r\u00e9tt. En engu a\u00f0 s\u00ed\u00f0ur – \u00fea\u00f0 er ekki s\u00e9rstaklega hr\u00f3svert a\u00f0 hafa fengi\u00f0 g\u00f3\u00f0a h\u00e6fileika \u00ed v\u00f6ggugj\u00f6f \u2013 \u00fea\u00f0 er gu\u00f0sgj\u00f6f, sem okkur ber a\u00f0 fara vel me\u00f0. En \u00fea\u00f0 er ekki lofsvert a\u00f0 l\u00e1ta me\u00f0f\u00e6dda h\u00e6fileika s\u00edna fara forg\u00f6r\u00f0um og lenda \u00ed \u00f3r\u00e6kt. \u00dea\u00f0 er karakterleysi.<\/p>\n
\u00dea\u00f0 er sta\u00f0reynd, a\u00f0 um \u00feri\u00f0jungur nemenda, einn af hverjum \u00feremur, heykist \u00e1 n\u00e1mi \u00ed \u00edslenskum framhaldssk\u00f3lum, sem er langh\u00e6sta brottfall innan OECD landanna. Hva\u00f0 veldur? Og hvernig getum vi\u00f0 sn\u00fai\u00f0 \u00fer\u00f3uninni vi\u00f0? \u00c6tlum vi\u00f0 ekkert a\u00f0 breg\u00f0ast vi\u00f0? N\u00fa er \u00fea\u00f0 vita\u00f0, a\u00f0 \u00edslenskar st\u00falkur byrja snemma a\u00f0 stunda kynl\u00edf. Er \u00fea\u00f0 partur af sk\u00fdringunni \u00e1 hinni n\u00fdju st\u00e9ttaskiptingu? \u00deessar stelpur eru \u00ed \u00e1h\u00e6ttuh\u00f3pnum um a\u00f0 ver\u00f0a einst\u00e6\u00f0ar m\u00e6\u00f0ur og lenda \u00ed f\u00e1t\u00e6ktargildru. Hinar halda beint \u00e1 toppinn.<\/p>\n
Sex or success?<\/p>\n
\u00deessi grein birtist \u00e1 vefs\u00ed\u00f0u Eyjunnar, og f\u00e9kk h\u00f6r\u00f0 vi\u00f0br\u00f6g\u00f0 \u2013 sem enda\u00f0i me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed, a\u00f0 \u00e9g var\u00f0 a\u00f0 svara gagnr\u00fdninni me\u00f0 n\u00fdrri grein.<\/p>\n
\u00c9g ver\u00f0 eiginlega a\u00f0 b\u00e6ta nokkrum or\u00f0um vi\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 sem \u00e9g var a\u00f0 segja ykkur \u00ed fyrradag um v\u00edsindalega k\u00f6nnun, sem ger\u00f0 var \u00ed hinum svok\u00f6llu\u00f0u \u201e\u00fer\u00f3u\u00f0u\u201c l\u00f6ndum Evr\u00f3pu og Amer\u00edku (Sex and Success). K\u00f6nnunin, sem var unnin \u00e1 l\u00f6ngu t\u00edmabili, fjalla\u00f0i um vi\u00f0horf ungra kvenna til kynl\u00edfs.<\/p>\n
\u00c9g tek \u00fea\u00f0 fram, a\u00f0 \u00e9g var ekki a\u00f0 l\u00fdsa m\u00ednum eigin sko\u00f0unum, heldur eing\u00f6ngu a\u00f0 sk\u00fdra fr\u00e1 ni\u00f0urst\u00f6\u00f0um k\u00f6nnunarinnar. Og ni\u00f0urst\u00f6\u00f0ur kannana, ef \u00fe\u00e6r eru unnar \u00e1 v\u00edsindalegan h\u00e1tt, kallast sta\u00f0reyndir \u2013 sta\u00f0reyndir um vi\u00f0horf og sko\u00f0anir \u00feeirra, sem tala\u00f0 er vi\u00f0. \u00deannig a\u00f0 f\u00f3lk getur svo sem alveg rifi\u00f0 h\u00e1r sitt og rifi\u00f0 kjaftinn l\u00edka, en hins vegar \u00fe\u00fd\u00f0ir ekkert a\u00f0 hafna bl\u00e1k\u00f6ldum sta\u00f0reyndum og kenna m\u00e9r um. \u00de\u00fa haggar ekki sta\u00f0reyndum me\u00f0 \u00f3\u00feverramuns\u00f6fnu\u00f0i um \u00feann sem sk\u00fdrir fr\u00e1 \u00feeim. Munns\u00f6fnu\u00f0urinn sta\u00f0festir \u00fea\u00f0 eitt, a\u00f0 vi\u00f0komandi er ekki vi\u00f0m\u00e6landi. Hvar er n\u00fa ruslafatan, sem fr\u00e6gur dagbla\u00f0sritstj\u00f3ri sag\u00f0i a\u00f0 v\u00e6ri helsta t\u00e6ki ritstj\u00f3rans? (sj\u00e1 Eyjan 10.5.)<\/p>\n
\u00dea\u00f0 eina sem kom fr\u00e1 eigin brj\u00f3sti \u00ed \u00feessari grein minni, var spurningin, sem \u00e9g varpa\u00f0i fram undir lokin: Er einhver tenging milli \u00feessarar umr\u00e6ddu k\u00f6nnunar og g\u00edfurlegs brottfalls \u00far sk\u00f3lum \u00e1 \u00cdslandi? \u00deetta fannst m\u00e9r umhugsunarefni.<\/p>\n
N\u00fa skal teki\u00f0 fram, a\u00f0 umr\u00e6dd k\u00f6nnun var v\u00ed\u00f0t\u00e6kari, og leiddi meira forvitnilegt \u00ed lj\u00f3s. Best \u00e9g l\u00e1ti \u00fea\u00f0 bara flakka. T.d. a\u00f0 \u00feessar Alfasuperkonur eru ekki a\u00f0eins r\u00edkari a\u00f0 veraldlegum g\u00e6\u00f0um en hinar, sem f\u00f3ru ekki \u00ed langsk\u00f3lan\u00e1m, heldur l\u00edka r\u00edkari a\u00f0 \u00f6\u00f0rum g\u00e6\u00f0um, a\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed er vir\u00f0ist. K\u00f6nnunin sta\u00f0festir nefnilega, a\u00f0 \u00feessar konur nj\u00f3ta kynl\u00edfs s\u00ed\u00f0ar \u00e1 \u00e6vinni, a\u00f0 eigin s\u00f6gn, \u00ed miklu r\u00edkari m\u00e6li en hinar. M\u00e1li\u00f0 sn\u00fdst \u00feess vegna ekki um a\u00f0 hafna kynl\u00edfi fyrir veraldlegan frama. M\u00e1li\u00f0 sn\u00fdst fyrst og fremst um \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 koma \u00ed veg fyrir, a\u00f0 einst\u00e6\u00f0ar m\u00e6\u00f0ur \u00e1 unglings\u00e1runum lendi \u00ed f\u00e1t\u00e6ktargildru og f\u00e1i eftir \u00fea\u00f0 ekki noti\u00f0 l\u00edfsins, sem \u00fe\u00e6r ella g\u00e6tu gert.<\/p>\n
K\u00f6nnunin lei\u00f0ir \u00ed lj\u00f3s, a\u00f0 \u00feegar Alfakonurnar hafa loki\u00f0 s\u00ednu n\u00e1mi og hasla\u00f0 s\u00e9r v\u00f6ll \u00ed \u00fej\u00f3\u00f0f\u00e9laginu sem sj\u00e1fst\u00e6\u00f0ar manneskjur eiga \u00fe\u00e6r \u00feess kost, a\u00f0 eigin s\u00f6gn, a\u00f0 b\u00e6ta s\u00e9r upp sj\u00e1lfsafneitun unglings\u00e1ranna. Allar dyr standa \u00feeim opnar. \u00de\u00e6r eignast a\u00f0 v\u00edsu b\u00f6rnin seinna, en strax upp \u00far \u00fer\u00edtugu eru \u00fe\u00e6r b\u00fanar jafna metin \u00e1 vi\u00f0 hinar, sem byrju\u00f0u fyrr \u2013 eiga jafnvel, a\u00f0 eigin s\u00f6gn, marga elskhuga og nj\u00f3ta kynl\u00edfs \u00ed botn. Fj\u00f3rar af hverjum fimm h\u00e1sk\u00f3lamenntu\u00f0um konum yngri en 45 \u00e1ra \u00ed Bretlandi kv\u00e1\u00f0ust mj\u00f6g \u00e1n\u00e6g\u00f0ar me\u00f0 kynl\u00edf sitt.<\/p>\n
Hins vegar br\u00e1 svo vi\u00f0, a\u00f0 meirihluti \u00feeirra kvenna, sem byrju\u00f0u snemma a\u00f0 stunda kynl\u00edf, s\u00f6g\u00f0ust or\u00f0nar \u00fereyttar \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed og vildu jafnvel sleppa vi\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 algerlega. Hvers vegna skyldi \u00fea\u00f0 vera? \u00dea\u00f0 kemur ekki fram \u00ed k\u00f6nnuninni. En hugsanlega tengist \u00fea\u00f0 fyrri reynslu af (\u00f3t\u00edmab\u00e6ru) kynl\u00edfi? E\u00f0a er \u00fea\u00f0 bara aflei\u00f0ing af f\u00e1t\u00e6ktinni og baslinu, sem samkv\u00e6mt k\u00f6nnuninni, b\u00ed\u00f0ur hinnar einst\u00e6\u00f0u m\u00f3\u00f0ur?<\/p>\n
Hver er ni\u00f0ursta\u00f0an? K\u00f6nnunin lei\u00f0ir \u00ed lj\u00f3s, a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 er n\u00fd og dj\u00fapst\u00e6\u00f0 st\u00e9ttaskipting a\u00f0 b\u00faa um sig, s\u00e9rstaklega me\u00f0al kvenna, \u00ed \u00feessum \u00fer\u00f3u\u00f0u samf\u00e9l\u00f6gum. \u00deeim konum, sem stunda n\u00e1m \u00e1 unglings\u00e1rum af metna\u00f0i, vegnar vel s\u00ed\u00f0ar \u00ed l\u00edfinu. \u00dea\u00f0 eru \u00fe\u00e6r, sem eru \u00ed reynd a\u00f0 n\u00e1 fram jafnr\u00e9tti \u00e1 vi\u00f0 karla. \u00dea\u00f0 eru \u00fe\u00e6r, sem eru \u00ed vaxandi m\u00e6li a\u00f0 taka vi\u00f0 stjornunarst\u00f6rfum vi\u00f0 hli\u00f0 (e\u00f0a \u00ed sta\u00f0) karla.<\/p>\n
Hinar, sem l\u00e9tu freistast af (\u00f3t\u00edmab\u00e6ru) kynl\u00edfi \u00e1 m\u00f3tunarskei\u00f0i unglings\u00e1ranna, misstu \u00e1huga \u00e1 n\u00e1mi og f\u00f3tfestu \u00ed sk\u00f3lakerfinu og f\u00f3ru snemma \u00fat \u00e1 vinnumarka\u00f0inn, \u00feeirra b\u00ed\u00f0a, skv. k\u00f6nnuninni, \u00e1fram hin hef\u00f0bundnu (l\u00e1glauna) kvennast\u00f6rf. \u00deannig festast \u00ed sessi l\u00e1glaunakvennast\u00e9ttir. \u00deessar konur eru ekki \u00e1 n\u00e1 neinum \u00e1rangri \u00ed jafnr\u00e9ttisbar\u00e1ttunni. \u00dea\u00f0 er svo alveg s\u00e9rstakt vandam\u00e1l, a\u00f0 einst\u00e6\u00f0ar m\u00e6\u00f0ur \u00ed \u00feessum h\u00f3pi (sem ekki nj\u00f3ta \u00feeim mun meiri stu\u00f0nings foreldra) eiga \u00e1 h\u00e6ttu a\u00f0 lokast inni \u00ed f\u00e1t\u00e6ktargildru.<\/p>\n
\u00deetta er ekki bara vandam\u00e1l \u00feessara kvenna (og \u00feeirra barna). \u00deetta er \u00fej\u00f3\u00f0f\u00e9lagslegt vandam\u00e1l. Stj\u00f3rnm\u00e1lamenn, \u00e9g tala n\u00fa ekki um jafna\u00f0armenn, eiga a\u00f0 taka \u00feetta alvarlega. \u00dea\u00f0 er a\u00f0 ver\u00f0a til n\u00fd st\u00e9ttaskipting, sem st\u00edar konum \u00ed sundur, og byrjar \u00e1 unglings\u00e1runum. \u00cd gamla daga t\u00f6lu\u00f0u feministar um \u201esisterhood\u201c \u2013 a\u00f0 konur \u00e6ttu a\u00f0 standa saman, af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e6r v\u00e6ru konur. Hvar er systra\u00feeli\u00f0 n\u00fa?<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u00c9g var a\u00f0 lesa grein eftir Alison Wolf, \u00feekktan f\u00e9lagsfr\u00e6\u00f0ing, Sex and Succes<\/b> (The Spectator, 27.4.), en h\u00fan hefur veri\u00f0 a\u00f0 kanna breytingar \u00e1 undanf\u00f6rnum \u00e1rum \u00e1 st\u00f6\u00f0u kvenna \u00ed Bandar\u00edkjunum og Evr\u00f3pu. \u00deessi grein vakti mikla athygli og mig til umhugsunar. \u00c9g f\u00f3r a\u00f0 hugsa heim og um st\u00f6\u00f0u kvenna \u00fear.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-118","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","category-greinar_og_vidtol"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/bs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/118","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/bs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/bs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/bs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/bs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=118"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/bs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/118\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":550,"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/bs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/118\/revisions\/550"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/bs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=118"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/bs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=118"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/bs\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=118"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}