{"id":1308,"date":"2012-03-16T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-03-16T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.jbh.is\/?p=1308"},"modified":"2020-09-22T12:30:58","modified_gmt":"2020-09-22T12:30:58","slug":"ad-gera-hreint-fyrir-sinum-dyrum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/?p=1308","title":{"rendered":"A\u00d0 GERA HREINT FYRIR S\u00cdNUM DYRUM"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00c9g skulda \u00f6llu \u00fev\u00ed f\u00f3lki, sem hinga\u00f0 til hefur bori\u00f0 traust til m\u00edn sem \u00e6rlegs manns, afkomendum m\u00ednum, vinum og \u00e6ttingjum, a\u00f0 segja \u00feeim sannleikann \u2013 og ekkert nema sannleikann \u2013 um \u00feetta m\u00e1l. \u00c9g br\u00e1st strax vi\u00f0, m.a.s. a\u00f0 \u00e1s\u00f6kununum \u00f3s\u00e9\u00f0um, me\u00f0 grein \u00ed Fr\u00e9ttabla\u00f0inu, 23. feb. s.l.: Mala domestica…<\/a>. \u00dea\u00f0 gat \u00e9g gert, af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 allar \u00feessar \u00e1sakanir eru gamalkunnar, u.\u00fe.b. t\u00edu \u00e1ra gamlar. \u00c9g hef svara\u00f0 \u00feeim \u00f6llum \u00e1\u00f0ur \u2013 l\u00edka vi\u00f0 yfirheyrslur vegna l\u00f6gregluranns\u00f3knar \u00e1 vegum r\u00edkissaks\u00f3knara fyrir um fimm \u00e1rum. En ekki fyrr en n\u00fa opinberlega.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n

\u00c9g taldi r\u00e9tt a\u00f0 l\u00e1ta nokkurn t\u00edma l\u00ed\u00f0a, \u00e1\u00f0ur en \u00e9g bryg\u00f0ist vi\u00f0. \u00cd fyrsta lagi t\u00f3k \u00fea\u00f0 t\u00edmann sinn a\u00f0 f\u00e1 \u00ed hendur ranns\u00f3knarg\u00f6gnin fr\u00e1 saks\u00f3knaraemb\u00e6ttinu. Einnig vildi \u00e9g gefa \u00f6llum \u00feeim, sem fyndu hj\u00e1 s\u00e9r \u00fe\u00f6rf fyrir a\u00f0 setjast \u00ed d\u00f3maras\u00e6ti yfir m\u00e9r, a\u00f0 rasa \u00fat. \u00c6tli umr\u00e6\u00f0uefni\u00f0 s\u00e9 ekki or\u00f0i\u00f0 n\u00e6stum \u00fev\u00ed t\u00e6mt, \u00feegar h\u00e9r er komi\u00f0 s\u00f6gu? \u00deeir eru allavega \u00f3f\u00e1ir, sem hafa haft sitt a\u00f0 segja \u00ed prentmi\u00f0lum, lj\u00f3svakami\u00f0lum og netheimum, nafnlausir jafnt sem undir nafni.<\/p>\n

En hinga\u00f0 til hefur sagan veri\u00f0 s\u00f6g\u00f0 algerlega einhli\u00f0a, \u00e1 forsendum h\u00f3psins, sem a\u00f0 \u00e1k\u00e6runni stendur. Bla\u00f0amennska \u00de\u00f3ru T\u00f3masd\u00f3ttur \u00ed \u00feessu m\u00e1li er a\u00f0 v\u00edsu svo \u00f3v\u00f6ndu\u00f0 og \u00f3hei\u00f0arleg, a\u00f0 jafnvel m\u00e9r bl\u00f6skrar, og er \u00e9g \u00fe\u00f3 \u00fdmsu vanur. \u00c9g mun r\u00f6ksty\u00f0ja \u00feessa fullyr\u00f0ingu r\u00e6kilega h\u00e9r \u00e1 eftir. Almennings\u00e1liti\u00f0 ver\u00f0ur hvorki betra n\u00e9 verra en \u00fe\u00e6r uppl\u00fdsingar, sem matreiddar eru ofan \u00ed almenning. Ni\u00f0ursta\u00f0a flestra ver\u00f0ur \u00fe\u00e1 \u00ed samr\u00e6mi vi\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 \u2013 og l\u00e1i \u00feeim hver sem vill.<\/p>\n

En jafnvel \u00fe\u00f3tt \u00f3sannindi ver\u00f0i h\u00e9r borin til baka og rangf\u00e6rslur lei\u00f0r\u00e9ttar<\/b>, er \u00fea\u00f0 \u00e6vinlega svo \u00ed m\u00e1lum af \u00feessu tagi, a\u00f0 \u00e1s\u00f6kunin ein og s\u00e9r vekur grunsemdir og tortryggni og er til \u00feess fallin a\u00f0 ska\u00f0a mannor\u00f0 vi\u00f0komandi varanlega. Vel m\u00e1 vera, a\u00f0 svo s\u00e9 \u00ed \u00feessu tilviki. En fyrir \u00fe\u00e1, sem vilja heldur hafa \u00fea\u00f0 sem sannara reynist, mun \u00e9g segja s\u00f6guna h\u00e9r \u00e1 eftir \u00fat fr\u00e1 sta\u00f0reyndum og m\u00e1lsg\u00f6gnum, sem leiddu til \u00feeirrar ni\u00f0urst\u00f6\u00f0u, a\u00f0 r\u00edkissaks\u00f3knari v\u00edsa\u00f0i m\u00e1linu fr\u00e1 fyrir fimm \u00e1rum.<\/p>\n

HVA\u00d0 ER \u00d3SATT?<\/h2>\n

Fyrst skulum vi\u00f0 hafa \u00e1 hreinu, hva\u00f0 er \u00f3satt \u00ed \u00e1bur\u00f0inum. \u00cd texta vi\u00f0 mynd af Gu\u00f0r\u00fanu Har\u00f0ard\u00f3ttur (systurd\u00f3ttur Brynd\u00edsar), er fullyrt, a\u00f0 kynfer\u00f0isbrot gagnvart henni hafi hafist af minni h\u00e1lfu, \u00feegar h\u00fan var ca. t\u00edu \u00e1ra. \u00c9g er m.\u00f6.o. saka\u00f0ur um a\u00f0 vera barnan\u00ed\u00f0ingur. \u00deetta er ekki bara sv\u00edvir\u00f0ileg \u00e1s\u00f6kun. \u00deetta er sem betur fer \u00f3satt, tilb\u00faningur, fundinn upp eftir \u00e1.<\/p>\n

Hvernig get \u00e9g fullyrt \u00feetta? \u00c9g er svo heppinn, a\u00f0 a\u00f0rir voru vi\u00f0staddir \u00f6ll \u00feau \u201eatvik\u201c (nema eitt), sem t\u00ednd eru til stu\u00f0nings \u00e1bur\u00f0inum. B\u00e6\u00f0i Brynd\u00eds, kona m\u00edn, og d\u00e6tur m\u00ednar, Sn\u00e6fr\u00ed\u00f0ur og Kolfinna, \u00f6nnur hvor e\u00f0a b\u00e1\u00f0ar, voru vi\u00f0staddar \u00e1 sama sta\u00f0 og t\u00edma. \u00de\u00e6r hafa allar votta\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0, a\u00f0 \u00feetta er tilh\u00e6fulaust. Br\u00e9f \u00feeirra, \u00feessu til sta\u00f0festingar, voru l\u00f6g\u00f0 fram vi\u00f0 ranns\u00f3kn m\u00e1lsins (sj\u00e1 br\u00e9f Brynd\u00edsar til Gu\u00f0r\u00fanar h\u00e9r \u00e1 eftir).<\/p>\n

Af grein \u00de\u00f3ru T\u00f3masd\u00f3ttur m\u00e1 r\u00e1\u00f0a, a\u00f0 g\u00f6gn l\u00f6gregluranns\u00f3knarinnar (2005-2007), \u00fe.m.t. \u00fatskrift af yfirheyrslum, voru henni tilt\u00e6k. H\u00fan haf\u00f0i \u00feessar uppl\u00fdsingar a\u00f0 engu \u2013 t\u00edndi \u00fat \u00far vitnisbur\u00f0inum \u00fea\u00f0 eitt, sem henni henta\u00f0i. \u00dea\u00f0 segir allt sem segja \u00fearf um hva\u00f0 fyrir henni vakti. \u00dea\u00f0 var eitthva\u00f0 anna\u00f0 en sannleiks\u00e1stin ein og t\u00e6r. \u00dea\u00f0 hvarfla\u00f0i m.a.s. ekki einu sinni a\u00f0 Gu\u00f0r\u00fanu sj\u00e1lfri , a\u00f0 h\u00fan hef\u00f0i or\u00f0i\u00f0 fyrir kynfer\u00f0islegri \u00e1reitni fyrr en m\u00f6rgum \u00e1rum eftir a\u00f0 tilgreind atvik \u00e1ttu s\u00e9r sta\u00f0. \u00dea\u00f0 \u00e1 s\u00e9r s\u00ednar sk\u00fdringar, en vi\u00f0 l\u00e1tum \u00fe\u00e6r b\u00ed\u00f0a a\u00f0 svo st\u00f6ddu. A\u00f0alatri\u00f0i\u00f0 er \u00feetta: Gu\u00f0r\u00fan Har\u00f0ard\u00f3ttir var\u00f0 ekki fyrir kynfer\u00f0islegri \u00e1reitni af minni h\u00e1lfu \u00e1 barnsaldri.<\/b><\/p>\n

HVA\u00d0 ER SATT?<\/h2>\n

Um hva\u00f0 sn\u00fdst \u00fe\u00e1 m\u00e1li\u00f0? \u00dea\u00f0 sn\u00fdst um br\u00e9faskriftir l\u00edfsreynds manns til unglingsst\u00falku. \u00dea\u00f0 \u00fearfnast au\u00f0vita\u00f0 sk\u00fdringa, hvers vegna til sl\u00edkra br\u00e9faskrifta var stofna\u00f0, (\u00e9g v\u00edk a\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed h\u00e9r \u00e1 eftir). En eina k\u00e6ruatri\u00f0i\u00f0, sem eftir st\u00f3\u00f0 til ranns\u00f3knar hj\u00e1 l\u00f6greglu skv. fyrirm\u00e6lum r\u00edkissaks\u00f3knara, var eitt br\u00e9f, sem fylgdi b\u00f3k eftir N\u00f3belsver\u00f0launahafann Vargas Llosa, fr\u00e1 \u00e1rinu 2001, (um b\u00f3k og h\u00f6fund sj\u00e1 s\u00ed\u00f0ar). \u00de\u00e1 var Gu\u00f0r\u00fan \u00e1 \u00e1tj\u00e1nda \u00e1ri, skiptinemi \u00ed Venezuela.<\/p>\n

N\u00e1nar tilteki\u00f0 var ranns\u00f3knarspurningin s\u00fa, hvort innihald br\u00e9fsins g\u00e6ti talist hafa \u201es\u00e6rt blyg\u00f0unarkennd\u201c vi\u00f0takanda og \u00fear me\u00f0 var\u00f0a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 l\u00f6g. \u00dea\u00f0 mun vera ford\u00e6malaust, a\u00f0 einkabr\u00e9f milli tveggja fullve\u00f0ja einstaklinga, s\u00e9 d\u00e6mt brotlegt vi\u00f0 hegningarl\u00f6g, enda treysti r\u00edkissaks\u00f3knari s\u00e9r ekki til a\u00f0 h\u00f6f\u00f0a sl\u00edkt m\u00e1l. Fullyr\u00f0ing \u00de\u00f3ru T\u00f3masd\u00f3ttur um, a\u00f0 saks\u00f3knari hafi komist a\u00f0 \u00feeirri ni\u00f0urst\u00f6\u00f0u, a\u00f0 h\u00f6fundur br\u00e9fsins v\u00e6ri \u201ebrotlegur samkv\u00e6mt \u00edslenskum l\u00f6gum\u201c er einfaldlega r\u00f6ng. Saks\u00f3knari fullyr\u00f0ir hvergi neitt sl\u00edkt. K\u00e6runni var a\u00f0 lokum v\u00edsa\u00f0 fr\u00e1, vegna \u00feess a\u00f0 tilefni\u00f0 til \u00e1k\u00e6ru, sem leitt g\u00e6ti til sakfellingar, fannst ekki.<\/p>\n

A\u00f0alatri\u00f0i\u00f0 er \u00feetta: K\u00e6ruefni\u00f0 var ekki kynfer\u00f0isleg \u00e1reitni heldur spurning um, hvort efni br\u00e9fsins<\/b> (og reyndar sk\u00e1lds\u00f6gunnar) g\u00e6ti \u201es\u00e6rt blyg\u00f0unarkennd\u201c vi\u00f0takandans. Og vi\u00f0takandinn var sautj\u00e1n \u00e1ra \u2013 ekki \u00e1 barnsaldri<\/b>, eins og \u00de\u00f3ra T\u00f3masd\u00f3ttir vill vera l\u00e1ta. S\u00e1 sem vill t\u00falka \u00e1kv\u00e6\u00f0i \u00edslenskra hegningarlaga me\u00f0 \u00feeim h\u00e6tti, a\u00f0 einkabr\u00e9f milli fullve\u00f0ja einstaklinga geti var\u00f0a\u00f0 vi\u00f0 l\u00f6g \u2013 og saks\u00f3knari treysti s\u00e9r ekki til \u00feess \u2013 ver\u00f0ur a\u00f0 gera s\u00e9r grein fyrir aflei\u00f0ingunum, sem hlytust af sl\u00edkum d\u00f3maford\u00e6mum. \u00de\u00e6r g\u00e6tu t.d. var\u00f0a\u00f0 \u00fdmsar grundvallarspurningar um tj\u00e1ningarfrelsi og \u201efri\u00f0helgi einkal\u00edfs\u201c. N\u00e1nar um \u00fea\u00f0 s\u00ed\u00f0ar.<\/p>\n

HVA\u00d0A \u00de\u00d6GGUN?<\/h2>\n

\u00deri\u00f0ja meginatri\u00f0i \u00feessa m\u00e1ls lei\u00f0ir hugann a\u00f0 s\u00edgildum spurningum um i\u00f0run og fyrirgefningu. \u00de\u00f3tt efni br\u00e9fsins til Gu\u00f0r\u00fanar hafi hvorki r\u00e9ttl\u00e6tt \u00e1k\u00e6ru n\u00e9 leitt til sakfellingar a\u00f0 l\u00f6gum, getur efni br\u00e9fs veri\u00f0 \u00f3vi\u00f0urkv\u00e6milegt, \u00f3s\u00e6milegt, jafnvel s\u00e6randi, \u00fe\u00f3tt ekki \u00feyki \u00fea\u00f0 refsivert \u00ed skilningi hegningarlaga. \u00de\u00e1 er \u00fea\u00f0 til b\u00f3ta, a\u00f0 br\u00e9f m\u00e1 endursenda. Vi\u00f0takandi getur l\u00edka \u00e1tt r\u00e9tt \u00e1 afs\u00f6kunarbei\u00f0ni. Og h\u00e9r er komi\u00f0 a\u00f0 kjarna m\u00e1lsins var\u00f0andi vi\u00f0br\u00f6g\u00f0 br\u00e9fritarans.<\/p>\n

\u00cd flestum kynfer\u00f0isafbrotam\u00e1lum er vandinn s\u00e1, a\u00f0 reynt er a\u00f0 \u00feagga m\u00e1l ni\u00f0ur, halda \u00feeim leyndum, pukrast me\u00f0 \u00feau, hylma yfir. Gerandinn \u00fer\u00e6tir gjarnan fyrir og reynir a\u00f0 komast upp me\u00f0 afneitun. \u00cd \u00feessum punkti skilur \u00ed milli feigs og \u00f3feigs. F\u00e6st komumst vi\u00f0 \u00ed gegnum l\u00edfi\u00f0, \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 okkur ver\u00f0i einhvern t\u00edma \u00e1 \u00ed messunni. Heilagir menn eru ekki \u00e1 hverju str\u00e1i \u00ed tilverunni. En ef vi\u00f0 brj\u00f3tum af okkur, \u00fe\u00e1 reynir \u00e1, hvort vi\u00f0 erum menn til a\u00f0 horfast \u00ed augu vi\u00f0 okkur sj\u00e1lf og \u00feann, sem broti\u00f0 er \u00e1. Hvort vi\u00f0 i\u00f0rumst ger\u00f0a okkar og m\u00e6lumst \u00e1 \u00feeim forsendum til fyrirgefningar. \u00de\u00e1 reynir ekki s\u00ed\u00f0ur \u00e1 hinn, sem broti\u00f0 hefur veri\u00f0 \u00e1, hvort hann b\u00fdr yfir \u00feeim \u00feroska og skapger\u00f0arstyrk a\u00f0 geta fyrirgefi\u00f0.<\/b><\/p>\n

UM I\u00d0RUN OG FYRIRGEFNINGU<\/h2>\n

Hver voru vi\u00f0br\u00f6g\u00f0 m\u00edn, \u00feegar \u00e9g ger\u00f0i m\u00e9r lj\u00f3st, a\u00f0 m\u00e9r haf\u00f0i or\u00f0i\u00f0 alvarlega \u00e1? \u00c9g j\u00e1ta\u00f0i brot mitt fyrirvara- og fortakslaust og \u00fer\u00e6tti ekki fyrir neitt. \u00c9g \u00e1stunda\u00f0i hvorki \u00fe\u00f6ggun n\u00e9 yfirhylmingu. \u00c9g skamma\u00f0ist m\u00edn, i\u00f0ra\u00f0ist, leita\u00f0i \u00e1sj\u00e1r og ba\u00f0st fyrirgefningar. \u00c9g vi\u00f0urkenndi, a\u00f0 efni br\u00e9fsins v\u00e6ri \u00f3s\u00e6milegt. \u00c9g \u00e1tta\u00f0i mig \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed seint og um s\u00ed\u00f0ir, a\u00f0 vi\u00f0takandinn haf\u00f0i engar forsendur til a\u00f0 skilja b\u00f3kina, og a\u00f0 br\u00e9fi\u00f0 \u00e1tti ekkert erindi vi\u00f0 hana. \u00c9g j\u00e1ta\u00f0i \u00fev\u00ed \u00e1 mig d\u00f3mgreindarbrest og ba\u00f0st fyrirgefningar.<\/p>\n

\u00c9g skrifa\u00f0i Gu\u00f0r\u00fanu sj\u00e1lfri afs\u00f6kunarbr\u00e9f (sj\u00e1 h\u00e9r \u00e1 eftir), og \u00e9g skrifa\u00f0i f\u00f6\u00f0ur hennar og fj\u00f6lskyldu br\u00e9f, \u00fear sem \u00e9g bau\u00f0st til a\u00f0 gera allt sem \u00ed m\u00ednu valdi st\u00e6\u00f0i til a\u00f0 b\u00e6ta fyrir gl\u00f6p m\u00edn. \u00c9g bau\u00f0st til a\u00f0 hitta fj\u00f6lskylduna til a\u00f0 bera fram afs\u00f6kunarbei\u00f0ni m\u00edna augliti til auglitis. \u00c9g bau\u00f0st til a\u00f0 r\u00e6\u00f0a vi\u00f0 hvern \u00feann, sem fj\u00f6lskyldan kysi s\u00e9r til fulltingis, s\u00e1lfr\u00e6\u00f0inga, f\u00e9lagsr\u00e1\u00f0gjafa e\u00f0a a\u00f0ra millig\u00f6ngumenn, til \u00feess a\u00f0 sannleikurinn \u00ed m\u00e1linu yr\u00f0i leiddur \u00ed lj\u00f3s<\/b> og misskilningi, tortryggni og grunsemdum eytt. \u00cd minnisbla\u00f0i til r\u00edkissaks\u00f3knara (24.01.07), sem er eitt af g\u00f6gnum m\u00e1lsins, segi \u00e9g eftirfarandi: \u201e\u00dea\u00f0 (er) sannf\u00e6ring m\u00edn, a\u00f0 fj\u00f6lskyldub\u00f6l af \u00feessu tagi ver\u00f0i ekki leyst hj\u00e1 l\u00f6greglu e\u00f0a d\u00f3mst\u00f3lum. \u00dea\u00f0 \u00e1 miklu fremur heima hj\u00e1 s\u00e1lusorgurum, sem lei\u00f0a f\u00f3lk til s\u00e1tta og fyrirgefningar, me\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 a\u00f0 lei\u00f0arlj\u00f3si, sem skrifa\u00f0 stendur: S\u00e1 y\u00f0ar sem syndlaus er, kasti fyrsta steininum\u201c.<\/p>\n

FJ\u00d6LSKYLDUB\u00d6LI\u00d0<\/h2>\n

\u00c9g nota \u00fearna or\u00f0i\u00f0 fj\u00f6lskyldub\u00f6l. Hva\u00f0 \u00e1 \u00e9g vi\u00f0? \u00c9g \u00e1 vi\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0, a\u00f0 n\u00e1nir \u00e6ttingjar, venslamenn og vinir innan s\u00f6mu fj\u00f6lskyldu, geta allt \u00ed einu ekki talast vi\u00f0, geta ekki lengur leyst miskl\u00ed\u00f0arefni e\u00f0a \u00e1greiningsm\u00e1l, sem upp koma me\u00f0 samt\u00f6lum, \u00ed s\u00e1tt og samlyndi. \u00d3vild, totryggni, grunsemdir, s\u00f6gubur\u00f0ur, illm\u00e6lgi \u00e1 bak og hatur grefur um sig og eitrar \u00fat fr\u00e1 s\u00e9r.<\/b> \u00dea\u00f0 er \u00feetta sem hefur gerst \u00ed okkar fj\u00f6lskyldu. \u00dea\u00f0 \u00e1 s\u00e9r l\u00edka a\u00f0rar og d\u00fdpri r\u00e6tur innan okkar fj\u00f6lskyldu en h\u00e9r hefur veri\u00f0 l\u00fdst. A\u00f0 svo st\u00f6ddu k\u00fds \u00e9g a\u00f0 gera \u00feau m\u00e1l ekki a\u00f0 umr\u00e6\u00f0uefni opinberlega \u2013 \u00f3tilneyddur.<\/p>\n

\u00c9g hef j\u00e1ta\u00f0 mitt brot. En \u00e9g hef l\u00edka be\u00f0ist fyrirgefningar og leita\u00f0 hj\u00e1lpar til a\u00f0 koma \u00e1 s\u00e1ttaumleitunum. \u00cd \u00e1ratug hefur \u00feeirri vi\u00f0leitni minni veri\u00f0 m\u00e6tt me\u00f0 \u00edskaldri \u00fe\u00f6gn, \u00f3s\u00f6nnum s\u00f6gubur\u00f0i, illm\u00e6lgi \u00e1 bak, hatri og hefnigirni. \u00dev\u00ed mi\u00f0ur er \u00fea\u00f0 svo, a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 er hatur og hefnigirni<\/b>, sem a\u00f0 baki b\u00fdr. Fyrst er leita\u00f0 til l\u00f6greglu og saks\u00f3knara og reynt a\u00f0 f\u00e1 \u00f3vininn d\u00e6mdan. \u00deegar \u00fea\u00f0 tekst ekki, er \u00e1greiningsm\u00e1lum v\u00edsa\u00f0 til d\u00f3mst\u00f3ls fj\u00f6lmi\u00f0la og almennings\u00e1lits. \u00dea\u00f0 telst s\u00e6tur sigur, ef \u00fea\u00f0 tekst a\u00f0 r\u00e6na \u00f3vininn mannor\u00f0inu.<\/p>\n

\u00dea\u00f0 er dapurlegt til \u00feess a\u00f0 vita, a\u00f0 \u00f6ll \u00feessi \u00f3vild, allt \u00feetta hatur og \u00f6ll \u00feessi hefnigirni, skuli hafa b\u00fai\u00f0 um sig \u00ed hugarfylgsnum og s\u00e1larl\u00edfi \u00feess f\u00f3lks, sem stendur a\u00f0 baki \u00feessu, \u00ed meira en \u00e1ratug. Hatri\u00f0 er nefnilega ska\u00f0r\u00e6\u00f0isskepna. \u00dea\u00f0 bitnar ekki bara \u00e1 \u00feeim, sem fyrir \u00fev\u00ed ver\u00f0a. \u00dea\u00f0 eitrar l\u00edka l\u00edf \u00feeirra, sem h\u00fdsa \u00fea\u00f0 og n\u00e6ra.<\/b> \u00dea\u00f0 er einmitt \u00fea\u00f0, sem er svo sorglegt. \u00dea\u00f0 er \u00feetta, sem Brynj\u00f3lfur biskup \u00ed Sk\u00e1lholti \u00e1tti vi\u00f0 for\u00f0um, \u00feegar hann sag\u00f0i: \u201eMala domestica lacrimis majores sunt<\/i>\u201c \u2013 \u201eHeimilsb\u00f6li\u00f0 er \u00feyngra en t\u00e1rum taki<\/i>\u201c.<\/p>\n

Me\u00f0 \u00feessum or\u00f0um hef \u00e9g \u00ed rauninni sagt allt, sem m\u00e9r liggur \u00e1 hjarta um \u00feetta m\u00e1l. Vinir m\u00ednir geta samhryggst m\u00e9r yfir \u00fev\u00ed, a\u00f0 fj\u00f6lskyldub\u00f6l af \u00feessu tagi skuli varpa skugga \u00e1 l\u00edf okkar Brynd\u00edsar og fj\u00f6lskyldu \u00e1 efri \u00e1rum. \u00dea\u00f0 er eitthva\u00f0 sem vi\u00f0 Brynd\u00eds, b\u00f6rn okkar og barnab\u00f6rn, erum d\u00e6md til a\u00f0 b\u00faa vi\u00f0. \u00de\u00e1 er a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 bera \u00fea\u00f0 af \u00e6\u00f0ruleysi. \u00d3vinir okkar geta \u00feess vegna hlakka\u00f0 yfir \u00f3f\u00f6rum okkar, eins og hver og einn hefur upplag til. Verst er \u00fe\u00f3 hlutskipti \u00feeirra, sem l\u00e1ta stj\u00f3rnast af hatrinu og sj\u00e1 varla til s\u00f3lar fyrir \u00fev\u00ed \u00e1 degi hverjum. \u00c9g samhryggist \u00feeim.<\/p>\n

\u00dea\u00f0 sem h\u00e9r fer \u00e1 eftir er sitthva\u00f0 sem m\u00e1li\u00f0 var\u00f0ar upp \u00far m\u00e1lsg\u00f6gnum til \u00e1r\u00e9ttingar \u00fdmsu \u00fev\u00ed, sem \u00feegar hefur veri\u00f0 sagt. \u00dea\u00f0 \u00e1 fyrst og fremst erindi vi\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e1, sem m\u00e1li\u00f0 var\u00f0ar s\u00e9rstaklega.<\/p>\n

HVERS VEGNA \u00deESSAR BR\u00c9FASKRIFTIR?<\/h2>\n

Hver er sk\u00fdringin \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed upp\u00e1t\u00e6ki a\u00f0 fara a\u00f0 skrifa henni Gu\u00f0r\u00fanu br\u00e9f \u00far \u00fdmsum heimshornum, hausti\u00f0 1998 (\u00feegar h\u00fan er fj\u00f3rt\u00e1n \u00e1ra) og svo \u00e1ri\u00f0 2001 (\u00feegar h\u00fan er sautj\u00e1n \u00e1ra)? \u00dea\u00f0 er von a\u00f0 spurt s\u00e9. En \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0an er einf\u00f6ld: Gu\u00f0r\u00fan haf\u00f0i veri\u00f0 kosin \u00ed ritnefnd sk\u00f3labla\u00f0sins \u00ed Hagask\u00f3la og tr\u00fa\u00f0i m\u00e9r fyrir \u00fev\u00ed \u00fe\u00e1 um sumari\u00f0, a\u00f0 hana langa\u00f0i svo til a\u00f0 l\u00e6ra a\u00f0 skrifa. \u00dea\u00f0 var \u00feess vegna, sem h\u00fan ba\u00f0 mig um a\u00f0 skrifa s\u00e9r br\u00e9f. \u00c9g t\u00f3k \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 sj\u00e1lfs\u00f6g\u00f0u vel og hvatti hana til a\u00f0 byrja \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 halda dagb\u00f3k. \u00cd afs\u00f6kunarbr\u00e9fi m\u00ednu til Gu\u00f0r\u00fanar \u00ed apr\u00edl 2002 segir svo: \u201eBr\u00e9faskriftir m\u00ednar til \u00fe\u00edn fr\u00e1 erlendum borgum \u00feykja kannski skondi\u00f0 upp\u00e1t\u00e6ki, en til \u00feeirra var svo sannarlega ekki stofna\u00f0 af illum hug til \u00feess a\u00f0 s\u00e6ra e\u00f0a mei\u00f0a. \u00devert \u00e1 m\u00f3ti. \u00dea\u00f0 byrja\u00f0i \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed, a\u00f0 \u00e9g vildi hvetja \u00feig til \u00feess a\u00f0 halda dagb\u00f3k. Til \u00feess a\u00f0 skrifa um tilfinningar, v\u00e6ntingar og vonbrig\u00f0i unglings\u00e1ranna. Beinl\u00ednis til a\u00f0 skrifa \u00feig fr\u00e1 s\u00e1rsauka, efasemdum og kv\u00ed\u00f0a. Til \u00feess a\u00f0 reyna a\u00f0 kynnast sj\u00e1lfum s\u00e9r og l\u00e6ra a\u00f0 umbera sj\u00e1lfan sig me\u00f0 kostum s\u00ednum og g\u00f6llum. \u00c9g hef engri manneskju kynnst hinga\u00f0 til, sem er gallalaus; en hversu m\u00f6rgum hef \u00e9g ekki kynnst, sem eru tilfinningaheftir, \u00feora ekki a\u00f0 tj\u00e1 tilfinningar s\u00ednar, \u00feora \u00fear me\u00f0 ekki a\u00f0 lifa. Me\u00f0 \u00feessu hugarfari hef \u00e9g skrifast \u00e1 vi\u00f0 f\u00f3lk, sem m\u00e9r \u00feykir v\u00e6nt um, konu m\u00edna, b\u00f6rnin m\u00edn, systkini og vini \u2013 og geri enn\u201c.<\/p>\n

S\u00ed\u00f0ar \u00ed \u00feessu br\u00e9fi segir eftirfarandi: \u201e \u00deegar Bakkus konungur tekur v\u00f6ldin, ver\u00f0ur d\u00f3mgreindin fyrsta f\u00f3rnarlambi\u00f0. \u00dea\u00f0 ger\u00f0ist, \u00feegar \u00e9g skrifa\u00f0i \u00fe\u00e9r til Venezuela. \u00deetta er ekki sagt til a\u00f0 afsaka mig, heldur til \u00feess a\u00f0 bi\u00f0jast afs\u00f6kunar. \u00c9g \u00e1 ekki a\u00f0ra \u00f3sk heitari \u00feessa stundina en a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa tr\u00fair \u00fev\u00ed, a\u00f0 m\u00e9r gekk ekkert ill til, og a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa g\u00e6tir \u00feess vegna fyrirgefi\u00f0 m\u00e9r …. Au\u00f0vita\u00f0 s\u00e6rir \u00fea\u00f0 mig a\u00f0 heyra \u00far \u00fdmsum \u00e1ttum s\u00f6gubur\u00f0, haf\u00f0an eftir \u00fe\u00e9r um, a\u00f0 \u00e9g hafi \u00e1reitt \u00feig kynfer\u00f0islega sem barn og ungling. \u00c9g veit, a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa veist, a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 er ekki satt. \u00c9g hef aldrei \u00fer\u00f6ngva\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e9r til neinna atlota, ekki snert \u00feig, ekki kysst \u00feig<\/b> \u2013 nema \u00e1 b\u00e1\u00f0a vanga, eins og \u00e9g geri vi\u00f0 alla, sem m\u00e9r \u00feykir v\u00e6nt um. \u00deetta veit \u00e9g, a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa veist, og \u00fea\u00f0 n\u00e6gir m\u00e9r\u201c. \u2013 Vi\u00f0 \u00feessari afs\u00f6kunarbei\u00f0ni hefur enn ekki borist neitt svar.<\/p>\n

BR\u00c9F BRYNDISAR: HVA\u00d0 BREYTTIST?<\/h2>\n

Hven\u00e6r breyttust e\u00f0lileg samskipti innan fj\u00f6lskyldunnar \u00ed meint gl\u00e6psamlegt \u00e1reiti? Sumari\u00f0 1998 (\u00feegar GH er fj\u00f3rt\u00e1n \u00e1ra) dvaldi h\u00fan hj\u00e1 okkur Brynd\u00edsi \u00ed Washington D.C. \u00e1samt systur sinni \u00ed g\u00f3\u00f0u yfirl\u00e6ti. \u00de\u00e1 haf\u00f0i enginn heyrt um meinta kynfer\u00f0islega \u00e1reitni vi\u00f0 Gu\u00f0r\u00fanu fr\u00e1 t\u00edu \u00e1ra aldrei. S\u00ed\u00f0sumars 2001, a\u00f0 lokinni vist \u00ed Venezuela sem skiptinemi, heims\u00f3tti Gu\u00f0r\u00fan okkur Brynd\u00edsi a\u00f0 \u00c1lfh\u00f3li \u00ed Mosfellsb\u00e6. H\u00fan flaug upp um h\u00e1lsinn \u00e1 okkur b\u00e1\u00f0um a\u00f0 venju. M.a.s. \u00fe\u00e1, \u00feegar Gu\u00f0r\u00fan er sautj\u00e1n \u00e1ra, s\u00f3ttist h\u00fan eftir f\u00e9lagsskap okkar, eins og h\u00fan haf\u00f0i alltaf gert. \u00dea\u00f0 \u00e1tti eftir a\u00f0 breytast heldur betur \u2013 en ekki fyrr en \u00e1ri s\u00ed\u00f0ar (2002). Hvers vegna? \u00cd j\u00fal\u00edm\u00e1nu\u00f0i \u00e1ri\u00f0 2004 (\u00feegar Gu\u00f0r\u00fan er tv\u00edtug), hitti Brynd\u00eds Gu\u00f0r\u00fanu systurd\u00f3ttur s\u00edna a\u00f0 m\u00e1li. \u00de\u00e1 heyr\u00f0i Brynd\u00eds hana segja \u00fdmislegt, sem h\u00fan lag\u00f0i ekki tr\u00fana\u00f0 \u00e1. \u00cd framhaldinu settist h\u00fan ni\u00f0ur og skrifa\u00f0i Gu\u00f0r\u00fanu br\u00e9f (29.07.04). \u00cd br\u00e9finu er Gu\u00f0r\u00fan be\u00f0in um sk\u00fdringar \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed, hva\u00f0 hafi breyst? Br\u00e9fi\u00f0 hlj\u00f3\u00f0ar svo:<\/p>\n

\u201eGu\u00f0r\u00fan m\u00edn. \u00dea\u00f0 var b\u00e6\u00f0i gaman og s\u00e1rt a\u00f0 hitta \u00feig \u00feessa kv\u00f6ldstund \u00ed vor. \u00dea\u00f0 var gaman, af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa varst enn litla fallega stelpan, sem m\u00e9r \u00fe\u00f3tti svo v\u00e6nt um. \u00dea\u00f0 var gaman, af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00e9g fann, a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa varst a\u00f0 n\u00e1 f\u00f3tfestu \u00ed l\u00edfinu. \u00de\u00fa hlakka\u00f0ir til \u00f3kominna t\u00edma og vissir hva\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa vildir \u00ed framt\u00ed\u00f0inni. \u00dea\u00f0 var s\u00e1rt, af \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa tala\u00f0ir af hatri og l\u00edtilsvir\u00f0ingu um manninn \u00ed l\u00edfi m\u00ednu. \u00de\u00fa nota\u00f0ir or\u00f0i\u00f0 \u201e\u00f3ge\u00f0slegur\u201c. Sn\u00e6fr\u00ed\u00f0ur segir m\u00e9r, a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa hafir nota\u00f0 \u00feetta or\u00f0 um f\u00f6\u00f0ur hennar, \u00feegar \u00fei\u00f0 hittust \u00ed sumar.<\/p>\n

\u00c9g veit, a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e9r hefur ekki alltaf \u00fe\u00f3tt J\u00f3n Baldvin \u00f3ge\u00f0slegur. Og \u00e9g hef veri\u00f0 a\u00f0 velta \u00fev\u00ed fyrir m\u00e9r, hven\u00e6r \u00fea\u00f0 ger\u00f0ist, a\u00f0 sko\u00f0un \u00fe\u00edn breyttist. \u00c9g hef veri\u00f0 a\u00f0 fara yfir \u00feetta \u00ed huganum og er enn ekki farin a\u00f0 skilja. \u00de\u00fa varst hj\u00e1 okkur langt\u00edmum saman, \u00feegar \u00fe\u00fa varst l\u00edtil. \u00de\u00fa varst ein af okkur, og vi\u00f0 elsku\u00f0um \u00feig \u00f6ll. \u00de\u00e9r fannst J\u00f3n Baldvin ekki \u00f3ge\u00f0slegur \u00fe\u00e1, \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa ba\u00f0st um a\u00f0 f\u00e1 a\u00f0 koma me\u00f0 okkur, \u00fear sem vi\u00f0 dv\u00f6ldum \u00e1 Sp\u00e1ni sumari\u00f0 1996 (\u00feegar \u00fe\u00fa varst t\u00f3lf \u00e1ra). \u00de\u00e1 bar J\u00f3n Baldvin \u00e1 \u00feig s\u00f3lkremi\u00f0 og einnig \u00e1 Starka\u00f0 og M\u00f6llu, \u00fea\u00f0 var 40\u00b0 stiga hiti, \u00e9g st\u00f3\u00f0 vi\u00f0 hli\u00f0ina \u00e1 ykkur og hj\u00e1lpa\u00f0i til.<\/p>\n

\u00de\u00e9r fannst hann ekki \u00f3ge\u00f0slegur \u00fe\u00e1, \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa h\u00e9lst \u00e1fram a\u00f0 venja komur \u00fe\u00ednar \u00e1 heimili okkar. \u00de\u00fa ba\u00f0st um a\u00f0 f\u00e1 a\u00f0 heims\u00e6kja okkur \u00ed Washington vori\u00f0 \u00b498. \u00de\u00fa dvaldist \u00ed Washisngton D.C. hj\u00e1 okkur \u00ed nokkrar vikur \u00ed g\u00f3\u00f0u yfirl\u00e6ti. \u00de\u00e9r fannst hann ekki \u00f3ge\u00f0slegur \u00fe\u00e1, \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa vildir enn vera fer\u00f0af\u00e9lagi okkar \u00e1 \u00cdtal\u00edu sumari\u00f0 1999. J\u00f3n Baldvin leita\u00f0i \u00fe\u00e1 \u00e1 \u00feig, a\u00f0 \u00feinni s\u00f6gn, – vi\u00f0 vorum \u00ed leik \u00e1 str\u00f6ndinni \u2013 hver gat kasta\u00f0 hverjum lengst \u00fat \u00ed sj\u00f3inn. Kannski hefur JB snert \u00feig \u00e1 einhverjum vi\u00f0kv\u00e6mum sta\u00f0 \u00ed hamaganginum, en \u00fea\u00f0 var ekki \u00e1reitni, Gu\u00f0r\u00fan. Svo vorum vi\u00f0 eitthvert kv\u00f6ld a\u00f0 gera gr\u00edn a\u00f0 hringnum, sem \u00fe\u00fa haf\u00f0ir \u00ed tungunni. JB sag\u00f0ist aldrei hafa kysst stelpu me\u00f0 hring \u00ed tungu. Flokkast \u00fea\u00f0 undir kynfer\u00f0islega \u00e1reitni? \u00de\u00fa gleymir \u00fev\u00ed, a\u00f0 \u00e9g var me\u00f0 ykkur, \u00e9g var \u00fearna l\u00edka, \u00e9g var vi\u00f0st\u00f6dd \u00ed b\u00e6\u00f0i skiptin.<\/p>\n

\u00de\u00e9r fannst hann ekkert \u00f3ge\u00f0slegur \u00fe\u00e1, \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa \u00fe\u00e1\u00f0ir a\u00f0 bor\u00f0a me\u00f0 honum morgunver\u00f0 \u00e1 Borginni seinna sama haust. \u00de\u00fa ba\u00f0st hann um a\u00f0 skrifa \u00fe\u00e9r fr\u00e1 Amer\u00edku. \u00de\u00fa sag\u00f0ir honum, a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa v\u00e6rir \u00ed ritnefnd sk\u00f3labla\u00f0sins og a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa vildir ver\u00f0a rith\u00f6fundur. \u00de\u00e9r fannst hann ekkert \u00f3ge\u00f0slegur \u00fe\u00e1. Svo f\u00f3rst \u00fe\u00fa til Amer\u00edku hausti\u00f0 2000. \u00de\u00e9r fannst hann ekki \u00f3ge\u00f0slegur \u00fe\u00e1, \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 \u00feegar \u00fe\u00fa komst heim aftur a\u00f0 \u00e1ri li\u00f0nu, sumari\u00f0 2001, heims\u00f3ttir \u00fe\u00fa okkur \u00ed sumarb\u00fasta\u00f0inn \u00e1samt systur \u00feinni. \u00de\u00fa hlj\u00f3pst upp um h\u00e1lsinn \u00e1 okkur b\u00e1\u00f0um, bor\u00f0a\u00f0ir me\u00f0 okkur l\u00e6ri, sem JB baka\u00f0i undir torfu, sag\u00f0ir fr\u00e1 \u00e6vint\u00fdrum \u00fe\u00ednum \u00ed Venezuelu, hl\u00f3st og ger\u00f0ir a\u00f0 gamni \u00fe\u00ednu. \u00dea\u00f0 var h\u00e9rna fleira f\u00f3lk til vitnis um \u00fea\u00f0. N\u00fa er spurning m\u00edn til \u00fe\u00edn, Gu\u00f0r\u00fan m\u00edn: Hven\u00e6r var\u00f0 J\u00f3n Baldvin svona \u00f3ge\u00f0slegur \u00ed \u00fe\u00ednum augum? \u00c9g ver\u00f0 a\u00f0 f\u00e1 svar vi\u00f0 \u00feeirri spurningu…\u201c<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Vi\u00f0 \u00feessu br\u00e9fi barst aldrei neitt svar. \u00dea\u00f0 hefur reyndar ekki borist enn.<\/p>\n

HVER ER \u00deESSI VARGAS LlOSA?<\/h2>\n

\u00cd minnisbla\u00f0i til r\u00edkissaks\u00f3knara(24.01.07) \u00fear sem JBH gagnr\u00fdnir r\u00edkissaks\u00f3knara har\u00f0lega fyrir \u00f3verjandi langan dr\u00e1tt \u00e1 a\u00f0 lei\u00f0a k\u00e6runa \u00fat af br\u00e9finu, sem fylgdi b\u00f3k Vargas Llosa, til lykta, segir m.a.:<\/p>\n

\u201eBr\u00e9fi\u00f0 fylgdi b\u00f3k eftir einn af \u00feekktustu h\u00f6fundum Su\u00f0ur-Amer\u00edku \u2013 b\u00f3k sem fjalla\u00f0i um st\u00f6\u00f0u Su\u00f0ur-Amer\u00edkur\u00edkja \u00ed heiminum. Sagan er alleg\u00f3r\u00eda – h\u00fan l\u00fdsir Su\u00f0ur-Amer\u00edku sem hinni miklu Babylonsh\u00f3ru \u00ed st\u00edl gamla testamentisins og l\u00edkir p\u00f3lit\u00edskri og efnahagslegri undirokun \u00e1lfunnar vi\u00f0 kynfer\u00f0islega undirokun. \u00cd b\u00f3kinni koma fyrir l\u00fdsingar \u00e1 kynfer\u00f0islegum ath\u00f6fnum, sem og \u00ed b\u00f3kinni. \u00deetta vekur upp spurningar, sem var\u00f0a k\u00e6ruefni\u00f0.<\/p>\n

Getur \u00fatg\u00e1fa b\u00f3kar \u00fe\u00f3tt refsivert ath\u00e6fi? \u00deess eru d\u00e6mi fr\u00e1 \u00fdmsum l\u00f6ndum og t\u00edmabilum, sbr. hina fr\u00e6gu skr\u00e1 Vaticansins um bannf\u00e6r\u00f0 rit. En \u00feessi b\u00f3k hefur ekki \u00fe\u00f3tt refsivert ath\u00e6fi, \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 h\u00fan var gefin \u00fat og \u00fe\u00fddd \u00e1 m\u00f6rg tungum\u00e1l.<\/p>\n

\u00cd b\u00f3kinni koma fyrir, sem fyrr sag\u00f0i, l\u00fdsingar \u00e1 kynfer\u00f0islegum ath\u00f6fnum. \u00deyki \u00fea\u00f0 gl\u00e6psamlegt og \u00fear me\u00f0 refsivert, \u00fe\u00e1 er obbinn af heimsb\u00f3kmenntunum kominn \u00e1 sakarskr\u00e1. Sama m\u00e1li gegnir um kvikmyndir, sj\u00f3nvarpsmyndir og megini\u00f0 af \u00fev\u00ed af\u00fereyingarefni, sem Hollywood framlei\u00f0ir og ber \u00fat um heimsbgg\u00f0ina handa unglingum. Ef l\u00fdsing kynfer\u00f0islegra athafna \u00feykir ekki refsivert ath\u00e6fi \u00e1 b\u00f3k, \u00ed kvikmynd, \u00ed sj\u00f3nvarpi e\u00f0a \u00ed \u00f6\u00f0rum af\u00fereyingarmi\u00f0lum, hvers vegna \u00fe\u00e1 \u00ed br\u00e9fi, \u00fear sem vi\u00f0takandinn er fullve\u00f0ja pers\u00f3na?<\/p>\n

L\u00f6gma\u00f0ur minn, Kristinn Bjarnason, hrl., kve\u00f0st ekki kannast vi\u00f0 neitt ford\u00e6mi um \u00fea\u00f0, a\u00f0 sendibr\u00e9f, sem fer milli tveggja fullve\u00f0ja einstaklinga, hafi flokkast undir kynfer\u00f0islega \u00e1reitni skv. \u00edslenskum hegningarl\u00f6gum. B\u00f3k m\u00e1 l\u00e1ta \u00f3lesna og br\u00e9f m\u00e1 endursenda og er \u00fe\u00e1 vonandi enginn ska\u00f0i ske\u00f0ur. \u00d6\u00f0ru m\u00e1li gegnir um \u00fea\u00f0, \u00feegar einhverjum er \u00fer\u00f6ngva\u00f0 til kynfer\u00f0islegra athafna gegn vilja s\u00ednum. \u00dea\u00f0 getur \u00f3umdeilanlega valdi\u00f0 varanlegum ska\u00f0a, sem ekki ver\u00f0ur aftur tekinn e\u00f0a fyrir b\u00e6tt.<\/b> \u00deess ber og a\u00f0 g\u00e6ta, a\u00f0 \u00ed umr\u00e6ddu einkabr\u00e9fi er l\u00fdsingu \u00e1 kynfer\u00f0islegum ath\u00f6fnum ekki beint a\u00f0 vi\u00f0takanda frekar en \u00ed b\u00f3kinni, sem var tilefni br\u00e9fsins\u201c.<\/p>\n

R\u00c9TTL\u00c1T M\u00c1LSME\u00d0FER\u00d0 OG FJ\u00d6LMI\u00d0LAF\u00c1R<\/h2>\n

\u00cd \u00feessu sama br\u00e9fi segir enn fremur:<\/p>\n

\u201e\u00dea\u00f0 v\u00e6ri \u00ed h\u00e6sta m\u00e1ta \u00f3sanngjarnt, ef skortur \u00e1 skilvirkni \u00ed st\u00f6rfum r\u00e1\u00f0uneyta (\u00f3verjandi tafir \u00e1 afgrei\u00f0slu m\u00e1lsins), \u00e1 a\u00f0 bitna \u00e1 mannr\u00e9ttindum hins k\u00e6r\u00f0a. Ranns\u00f3kn m\u00e1lsins getur ekki haldi\u00f0 \u00e1fram endalaust, vegna \u00feess a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 br\u00fdtur \u00ed b\u00e1ga vi\u00f0 r\u00e9ttl\u00e1ta m\u00e1lsme\u00f0fer\u00f0 og e\u00f0lilegt tillit til mannr\u00e9ttinda hins k\u00e6r\u00f0a.<\/p>\n

M\u00e9r skilst, a\u00f0 almennt s\u00e9\u00f0 \u00feyki ekki vi\u00f0 h\u00e6fi a\u00f0 gefa \u00fat \u00e1k\u00e6ru, nema fyrir liggji veigamikil r\u00f6k og yfirgn\u00e6fandi l\u00edkur \u00e1 sakfellingu. M\u00e1l af \u00fev\u00ed tagi, sem h\u00e9r um r\u00e6\u00f0ir, eru \u00f3venjulega vi\u00f0kv\u00e6m. \u00deess vegna gildir um sl\u00edk m\u00e1l r\u00edk tr\u00fana\u00f0ar- og \u00feagnarskylda, var\u00fa\u00f0 vi\u00f0 v\u00f6rslu gagna og jafnvel loku\u00f0 r\u00e9ttarh\u00f6ld. \u00deess vegna er brot \u00e1 tr\u00fana\u00f0i og \u00feagnarskyldu (m\u00e1linu var leki\u00f0 til fj\u00f6lmi\u00f0la af emb\u00e6ttismanni hj\u00e1 l\u00f6greglustj\u00f3raemb\u00e6ttinu) \u00feeim mun alvarlegra, sem m\u00e1l af \u00feessu tagi eru vi\u00f0kv\u00e6mari gagnvart mannor\u00f0i hins k\u00e6r\u00f0a.<\/p>\n

\u00d3v\u00f6ndu\u00f0 umfj\u00f6llun \u00ed m\u00e1lum af \u00feessu tagi vir\u00f0ist s\u00fdna, a\u00f0 \u00e1k\u00e6ran ein og s\u00e9r \u2013 jafnvel \u00fe\u00f3tt hinn \u00e1k\u00e6r\u00f0i reynist a\u00f0 lokum s\u00fdkn saka \u2013 lo\u00f0ir vi\u00f0 nafn hans og ey\u00f0ileggur mannor\u00f0 hans fyrir l\u00edfst\u00ed\u00f0. Fyrir kemur, a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 er sj\u00e1lfur tilgangur k\u00e6runnar.<\/b> Af \u00feessum \u00e1st\u00e6\u00f0um er \u00fea\u00f0 l\u00edka grafalvarlegt m\u00e1l a\u00f0 gefa \u00fat \u00e1k\u00e6ru, sem byggir ekki \u00e1 traustum grundvelli og lei\u00f0ir ekki til sakfellingar. Grundvallarreglur r\u00e9ttarr\u00edkisins, a\u00f0 s\u00e9rhver s\u00e9 saklaus uns sekt hans er s\u00f6nnu\u00f0, er \u00fe\u00e1 jafnvel \u00ed reynd sn\u00fai\u00f0 upp \u00ed andhverfu s\u00edna. Fj\u00f6lmi\u00f0laumfj\u00f6llun \u00ed m\u00e1lum af \u00feessu tagi er einatt \u00e1 \u00feann veg, a\u00f0 s\u00e9rhver telst sekur, sem er \u00e1k\u00e6r\u00f0ur, jafnvel \u00fe\u00f3tt sakleysi sannist s\u00ed\u00f0ar fyrir d\u00f3mi<\/b>.<\/p>\n

\u00dea\u00f0 er g\u00f3\u00f0 regla a\u00f0 setja sig \u00ed annarra spor \u00ed vi\u00f0kv\u00e6mum \u00e1greiningsm\u00e1lum. S\u00e1 sem \u00e1 yfir h\u00f6f\u00f0i s\u00e9r k\u00e6ru af \u00feessu tagi, \u00e1n nokkurra t\u00edmatakmarkana og \u00ed fullkominni \u00f3vissu um ni\u00f0urst\u00f6\u00f0u, lifir \u00ed st\u00f6\u00f0ugum kv\u00ed\u00f0a fr\u00e1 degi til dags, sem hamla starfsfri\u00f0i og hugarr\u00f3. Hann getur \u00e1tt von \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed \u00e1 hverjum degi a\u00f0 vakna upp vi\u00f0 fj\u00f6lmi\u00f0laf\u00e1r, sem gengur af mannor\u00f0i hans dau\u00f0u, \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 v\u00f6rnum ver\u00f0i vi\u00f0 komi\u00f0. Vi\u00f0komandi er jafnvel \u00ed reynd sviptur r\u00e9tti s\u00ednum til a\u00f0 neita borgaralegra r\u00e9ttinda, t.d. \u00fe\u00e1ttt\u00f6ku \u00ed f\u00e9lagsskap annarra e\u00f0a \u00ed opinberu l\u00edfi, af \u00f3tta vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 draga a\u00f0ra me\u00f0 s\u00e9r \u00ed fallinu. Verst er \u00fe\u00f3 hlutskipti fj\u00f6lskyldu hins k\u00e6r\u00f0a, sem saklaus m\u00e1 \u00feola \u00fea\u00f0, a\u00f0 nagandi kv\u00ed\u00f0i ey\u00f0ileggi heimilisl\u00edf og hugarr\u00f3 fj\u00f6lskyldunnar allrar\u201c.<\/p>\n

\u00d3hei\u00f0arleg og v\u00edtaver\u00f0 bla\u00f0amennska<\/h2>\n

\u00cd si\u00f0areglum Bla\u00f0amannaf\u00e9lags \u00cdslands segir:
\n3. grein: \u201eBla\u00f0ama\u00f0ur vandar uppl\u00fdsinga\u00f6flun s\u00edna, \u00farvinnslu og framsetningu, svo sem kostur er, og s\u00fdnir fyllstu tillitssemi \u00ed vandas\u00f6mum m\u00e1lum. Hann for\u00f0ast allt, sem valdi\u00f0 getur saklausu f\u00f3lki, e\u00f0a f\u00f3lki sem \u00e1 um s\u00e1rt a\u00f0 binda, \u00f3\u00fearfa s\u00e1rsauka e\u00f0a vanvir\u00f0u<\/b>\u201c. (Leturbreyting JB).<\/p>\n

4. grein: \u201e\u00cd fr\u00e1s\u00f6gnum af d\u00f3ms- og refsim\u00e1lum skulu bla\u00f0amenn vir\u00f0a \u00fe\u00e1 meginreglu laga, a\u00f0 hver ma\u00f0ur er talinn saklaus, \u00fear til sekt hans hefur veri\u00f0 s\u00f6nnu\u00f0\u201c.<\/p>\n

\u00cd \u00e1k\u00e6ruskjali s\u00ednu \u00ed N\u00fdju l\u00edfi \u00feverbr\u00fdtur \u00de\u00f3ra T\u00f3masd\u00f3ttir allar helstu grundvallarreglur, sem gilda um hei\u00f0arlega og vanda\u00f0a bla\u00f0amennsku.<\/p>\n

    \n
  • \u00cd fr\u00e1s\u00f6gn sinni af \u00feessu \u201ed\u00f3ms- og refsim\u00e1li\u201c haf\u00f0i \u00de\u00f3ra einungis samr\u00e1\u00f0 vi\u00f0 annan a\u00f0ilann, k\u00e6rua\u00f0ilann. H\u00fan haf\u00f0i ekkert samr\u00e1\u00f0 vi\u00f0 hinn k\u00e6r\u00f0a \u2013 sakborninginn. Fr\u00e1s\u00f6gn hennar var einhli\u00f0a \u00e1 forsendum k\u00e6rua\u00f0ilans.<\/li>\n
  • H\u00fan hunsa\u00f0i algerlega andm\u00e6lar\u00e9tt hins k\u00e6r\u00f0a, \u00fe\u00f3tt be\u00f0i\u00f0 v\u00e6ri um, a\u00f0 hann yr\u00f0i virtur.<\/li>\n
  • Af fr\u00e1s\u00f6gn \u00de\u00f3ru m\u00e1 r\u00e1\u00f0a, a\u00f0 h\u00fan haf\u00f0i a\u00f0gang a\u00f0 \u00f6llum g\u00f6gnum, fr\u00e1 b\u00e1\u00f0um deilua\u00f0ilum, sem l\u00f6g\u00f0 voru fram vi\u00f0 ranns\u00f3kn m\u00e1lsins. \u00der\u00e1tt fyrir \u00fea\u00f0 n\u00fdtti h\u00fan s\u00e9r einungis \u00feau g\u00f6gn, sem studdu fyrirframgefna ni\u00f0urst\u00f6\u00f0u k\u00e6renda.<\/li>\n
  • \u00de\u00f3ra haf\u00f0i a\u00f0gang a\u00f0 afs\u00f6kunarbei\u00f0ni JBH, \u00fear sem \u00fatsk\u00fdrt er, a\u00f0 br\u00e9faskriftir h\u00f3fust a\u00f0 bei\u00f0ni vi\u00f0takanda, og a\u00f0 \u00e1bur\u00f0i um kynfer\u00f0islega \u00e1reitni vi\u00f0 GH \u00e1 barnsaldri er skilyr\u00f0islaust v\u00edsa\u00f0 \u00e1 bug.<\/li>\n
  • H\u00fan haf\u00f0i a\u00f0gang a\u00f0 br\u00e9fum Kolfinnu og Sn\u00e6fr\u00ed\u00f0ar, d\u00e6tra minna, sem voru vi\u00f0staddar tilgreind atvik, \u00f6nnur hvor e\u00f0a b\u00e1\u00f0ar, og votta, a\u00f0 \u00feessar \u00e1sakanir eru fjarst\u00e6\u00f0ukenndar og reyndar tilb\u00faningur \u2013 eftir \u00e1. \u00de\u00f3ra l\u00e6tur \u00feess hvergi geti\u00f0.<\/li>\n
  • H\u00fan haf\u00f0i a\u00f0gang a\u00f0 br\u00e9fi Brynd\u00edsar, konu minnar, sem vitna\u00f0 er \u00ed h\u00e9r a\u00f0 framan (fr\u00e1 \u00e1rinu 2004), \u00fear sem Gu\u00f0r\u00fan er be\u00f0in um sk\u00fdringar \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed, hvers vegna h\u00fan kemur fram me\u00f0 \u00feessar \u00e1sakanir, l\u00f6ngu eftir a\u00f0 tilf\u00e6r\u00f0 atvik \u00e1ttu s\u00e9r sta\u00f0 og \u00fer\u00e1tt fyrir a\u00f0 h\u00fan s\u00f3ttist \u00fer\u00e1faldlega eftir f\u00e9lagsskap okkar \u00ed m\u00f6rg \u00e1r, eins og ekkert hef\u00f0i \u00ed skorist. Gerir ma\u00f0ur \u00fea\u00f0, ef ma\u00f0ur \u00f3ttast einhvern e\u00f0a hefur \u00f3beit \u00e1 honum?<\/li>\n
  • \u00cd ritstj\u00f3rnargrein N\u00fds l\u00edfs vekur \u00de\u00f3ra T\u00f3masd\u00f3ttir upp spurninguna: Eru allir jafnir fyrir l\u00f6gum? \u00dear sakar h\u00fan sakborninginn (JBH) um a\u00f0 hafa misbeitt valdi s\u00ednu vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 tefja framgang r\u00e9ttv\u00edsinnar \u00ed m\u00e1linu. \u00dear me\u00f0 gerir h\u00fan sakborninginn \u00e1byrgan fyrir \u00fev\u00ed, a\u00f0 k\u00e6randinn sitji uppi me\u00f0 \u201er\u00fai\u00f0 traust \u00e1 \u00edslensku r\u00e9ttarkerfi<\/i>\u201c. Sem fyrr segir, haf\u00f0i \u00de\u00f3ra T\u00f3masd\u00f3ttir a\u00f0gang a\u00f0 \u00f6llum m\u00e1lskj\u00f6lum, sem fram voru l\u00f6g\u00f0 vi\u00f0 ranns\u00f3knina. \u00dear er a\u00f0 finna m\u00f6rg skj\u00f6l, sem sanna, a\u00f0 JBH og l\u00f6gma\u00f0ur hans gengu \u00edtreka\u00f0 og hart fram \u00ed \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 gagnr\u00fdna seinagang kerfisins. \u00deeir kr\u00f6f\u00f0ust \u00feess, me\u00f0 v\u00edsan til r\u00e9ttinda sakborningsins a\u00f0 afgrei\u00f0slu m\u00e1lsins yr\u00f0i hra\u00f0a\u00f0.<\/li>\n
  • Reyndar lauk m\u00e1linu ekki fyrr en JBH haf\u00f0i gripi\u00f0 til sinna eigin r\u00e1\u00f0a og \u00fatvega\u00f0 saks\u00f3knaraemb\u00e6ttinu \u00feau g\u00f6gn fr\u00e1 Washington og Venezuela, sem emb\u00e6tti\u00f0 kva\u00f0st b\u00ed\u00f0a eftir. H\u00e9r \u00e1 eftir er birt skjal fr\u00e1 JBH til r\u00edkissaks\u00f3knara, Boga Nilssonar, dags. 21. mars, 2007, \u00fear sem v\u00edtaver\u00f0 emb\u00e6ttisf\u00e6rsla r\u00edkissaks\u00f3knara, l\u00f6greglu og r\u00e1\u00f0uneyta er gagnr\u00fdnd \u00ed n\u00edu li\u00f0um. \u00dear er sett fram krafa um r\u00e9ttl\u00e1ta m\u00e1lsme\u00f0fer\u00f0, sem kve\u00f0ur \u00e1 um \u201eflj\u00f3tvirka e\u00f0a hra\u00f0a m\u00e1lsme\u00f0fer\u00f0<\/i> \u2013 og a\u00f0 leyst s\u00e9 \u00far m\u00e1lum innan h\u00e6filegs t\u00edma\u201c. S\u00fdnt er fram \u00e1, a\u00f0 \u00f3h\u00e6filegur dr\u00e1ttur m\u00e1lsins s\u00e9 einv\u00f6r\u00f0ungu stj\u00f3rnv\u00f6ldum a\u00f0 kenna<\/i>.<\/li>\n
  • \u00d6llu \u00feessu stingur \u00de\u00f3ra T\u00f3masd\u00f3ttir undir st\u00f3l af \u00e1settu r\u00e1\u00f0i. H\u00fan sn\u00fdr \u00f6llum sta\u00f0reyndum m\u00e1lsins \u00e1 haus og k\u00f3r\u00f3nar \u00f3sv\u00edfnina og \u00f3hei\u00f0arleikann me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 gera sakborninginn, sem fyrst og fremst galt \u00feessarar emb\u00e6ttisf\u00e6rslu, a\u00f0 \u00e1byrg\u00f0armanni hennar. \u00deetta getur ekki flokkast undir vang\u00e1. \u00dea\u00f0 liggur vi\u00f0, a\u00f0 \u00feetta megi kalla skjalafals. \u00de\u00f3ra er auglj\u00f3slega einbeitt \u00ed \u00feeim \u00e1setningi s\u00ednum a\u00f0 skrumsk\u00e6la sannleikann.<\/li>\n
  • \u00cd millifyrirs\u00f6gn fullyr\u00f0ir ritstj\u00f3rinn, a\u00f0 JBH s\u00e9 \u201ebrotlegur samkv\u00e6mt \u00edslenskum l\u00f6gum\u201c. Hver s\u00e1, sem les r\u00f6kstu\u00f0ning r\u00edkissaks\u00f3knara fyrir \u00feeirri ni\u00f0urst\u00f6\u00f0u a\u00f0 v\u00edsa m\u00e1linu fr\u00e1, veit, a\u00f0 r\u00edkissaks\u00f3knari fullyr\u00f0ir hvergi neitt sl\u00edkt. Ritstj\u00f3rinn k\u00fds a\u00f0 leggja honum or\u00f0 \u00ed munn.<\/li>\n
  • \u00cd ritstj\u00f3rnargrein l\u00e6tur ritstj\u00f3rinn eins og hann s\u00e9 a\u00f0 leggja m\u00e1li\u00f0 \u00ed d\u00f3m lesenda, \u00feannig a\u00f0 \u201ef\u00f3lk geti sj\u00e1lft teki\u00f0 afst\u00f6\u00f0u til m\u00e1lsins\u201c. Spyrja m\u00e1, hvernig lesendur eigi a\u00f0 mynda s\u00e9r ford\u00f3malausa sko\u00f0un \u00e1 m\u00e1linu, \u00feegar ritstj\u00f3rinn b\u00fd\u00f0ur \u00feeim upp \u00e1 einhli\u00f0a fr\u00e1s\u00f6gn k\u00e6renda, vir\u00f0ir ekki andm\u00e6lar\u00e9tt hins \u00e1k\u00e6r\u00f0a, velur \u00fea\u00f0 eitt til birtingar \u00far g\u00f6gnum m\u00e1lsins, sem henta fyrirfram gefinni ni\u00f0urst\u00f6\u00f0u, stingur undir st\u00f3l g\u00f6gnum, sem sanna a\u00f0 h\u00fan fer me\u00f0 rangt m\u00e1l og hunsar vottfestan frambur\u00f0 vitna, sem bera til baka megin\u00e1k\u00e6runa um kynfer\u00f0islega \u00e1reitni vi\u00f0 barnunga st\u00falku?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    \u00c9g b\u00fd\u00f0 ekki \u00ed \u00fea\u00f0, ef \u00f3hr\u00f3\u00f0ur af \u00feessu tagi, settur fram undir yfirskini hlutl\u00e6grar bla\u00f0amennsku, yr\u00f0i l\u00e1tinn vi\u00f0gangast fyrir d\u00f3mi. Gu\u00f0 for\u00f0i okkur fr\u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    \u00deann 24. febr\u00faar s.l. (\u00e1 afm\u00e6lisdegi m\u00f3\u00f0ur minnar) birti \u00de\u00f3ra T\u00f3masd\u00f3ttir \u00ed riti s\u00ednum N\u00fdju l\u00edfi, (2. tbl.) \u00e1k\u00e6ruskjal, \u00fear sem \u00e9g var saka\u00f0ur um kynfer\u00f0islega \u00e1reitni vi\u00f0 unglingsst\u00falku \u00ed fj\u00f6lskyldu okkar Brynd\u00edsar. \u00deetta eru grafalvarlegar \u00e1sakanir, til \u00feess fallnar a\u00f0 r\u00e6na hvern mann mannor\u00f0inu, sem fyrir ver\u00f0ur. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1308","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-allar_greinar","category-greinar_og_vidtol"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1308","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1308"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1308\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2741,"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1308\/revisions\/2741"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1308"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1308"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jbh.is\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1308"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}